you know I have decided I am going to stop apologizing for being so absent on my blog this summer.. lol.. I REALLY AM!
I feel like every-time I post, I am apologizing and going on about how I feel bad and will do better. But then I don't. and honestly.. really truly? It's summer, I forget how busy things are with all 6 kids home, with camping trips and family reunions, and late nights, and early morning on the boat, not to mention things are so crazy busy right now with work.. getting ready for new classes and a new WEB show.. getting new product in the store.. and just everything, so while I had WONDERFUL intentions of posting a lot this summer on my blog, it's just hasn't been happening and instead of apologizing, I am going to be happy with what I can do. I know you guys and gals don't care.. so why do I beat myself up so much over it! ??
Today I wanted to share with you a couple of things.. just a thought I had this past week that has really been on my mind.
This past Sunday, we had a wonderful lesson in Young Womens (I am a young women's leader in my church and part of my time at church on sunday is spent with them). Tami, another leader, gave our lesson and it was just seriously, something I needed to hear so much. There was a story she told that just really hit me.. I want to share it with you.
She referenced a story/talk from an Elder in our Church, Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf, he is the 1st counselor of our Church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). It was a talk he gave a few year ago, during a General Conference meeting that was being held worldwide. The talk was entitled "A matter of a few degrees". He is a pilot and always has a lot of interest in things that have to do with his passion. Flying. In this talk he told of a true story. He talked about a plane with 257 people on board that had just left New Zealand and were on their way to a sight seeing trip to Antarctica. Unkown to the pilots, someone had accidentally modified the flight coordinates by a mere 2 degrees, which in turn placed the experienced pilots off course a short 28 miles to the east of where they assumed they were. It was snowing and there were lots of clouds.. and so as they descended on one part of their trip, to where they assumed was "flat Land, they had no idea that they were actually flying straight into Mount Erebus, an active volcano in the Antarctic's that is over 12000 feet high. Because of the snow and clouds they didn't see the snow and ice covered volcano.. and by the time it was too late, and their plane start alerting them they were approaching elevated ground, they couldn't turn back and hit the side of the volcano killing everyone on board.
As I listened to this story.. it really hit me that sometimes.. choices that we make..no matter how small they may seem, can really get us off course of where we actually want to be.
It really made me think that small things DO matter. What I took from the story and her lesson was that sometimes in life, we decide to make choices, or start habits, or even just "put up" with things in our life.. that we know are not what we should be doing or maybe good but the not the BEST thing for us. And while they are small, and that particular consequence may be small, if we keep off course and keep making those choices or those decisions, we will soon find our self soooo far off course, it may seem almost impossible to come back.
I can apply this to SO many things in my life. Take for instance my new "weird" addiction to cherry pepsi.. I do NOT drink pop. I just don't. I have never really ever drank it. If we are at a party or eating out.. I will ALWAYS opt for water over pop. I just don't like it, never have.. I hate the carbonation.. hate how it makes me feel.. it hurts my stomach, makes me gassy.. makes me gain weight. So I just always opt for water, or lemonade.. or something else.. something without carbonation in it. Well a couple of weeks ago, we traveled down with our friends to see Kenny Chesney in concert and on the way we stopped at the gas station to get some snack for the 3 hours trip. I decided.. out of sheer.. wanting to be different, I would get a cherry pepsi. Cola for some reason sounded good and I LOVE cherries. So I got one. Another things you should know.. is that I also don't really drink caffeine.. more of a personal choice than anything... but I find it addicting and have seen friends who have really come to depend on it to just get through the day, or to even start their morning? I have ALSo been around friends who were trying to STOP the caffeine addiction and let me tell you.. it' is NOT a pretty thing! wow.. if you ever want to see a grouchy person.. take away their caffeine for a day! lol. crazy.
Well I found that day that I actually LOVED the taste of cherry pepsi.. and even MORE so in a fountain drink. I found that the carbonation in the fountain pop.. didn't bother me as much as the a pop from the can or the bottle. It didn't bother my stomach as bad either. So that night, at the concert, I got another one.. then the next day on the way home.. another. But it didn't stop there, the next day at home, I found myself heading to the gas station half way through the day to get myself a cherry pepsi.. and then the next day and the next.. it was becoming a habit.. and not always a BAD habit.. but one that I personally did not want to have. For so many reasons. Well now it has now been almost a week and half and EVERYDAY I have found myself going to the gas station (only a block away.. which doesn't help).. and getting myself a fountain "cherry pepsi". It started out a small 16 ounces cup and yesterday I found myself going for the big 64 ouncer! Holy cow Christy!! I have almost convinced myself now, that I NEED one.. it's my "treat" and that I can't make it through the rest of the afternoon without it. I am a dork.. I know. but around 2:30 I find myself thinking.. oh I better go get a cherry pepsi, so I can make it through the rest of the day! AND not to mention I know it's causing me to have stomach pains.. AND not to sleep very well at night because of the caffiene AND of course I KNOW the sugar is not good for my diabetes.. but now i fear I am hooked. Something I really didn't want and DON"T need in my life right now.. specially with my fibro.
My point is this.. the first time I got one.. I didn't think ANYTHING of it.. it wasn't something i planned on doing again.. just wanted something different that day.. just one degree of course of where I normally was. NOW.. a week and half later.. I find myself almost counting down the minutes to when I can go get my dang cherry pepsi.. and really truly why? seriously do i need it? No.. is it healthy for me? no.. and while I realize it won't KILL me.. it's just something I have never wanted to do. Drink pop or caffeine, and now i find myself needing both. Dumb dumb dumb.
So that might be a lame example.. but hopefully you get my drift.
We all have things we want out of life.. what we dream for, what we hope for.. sometimes we don't even know what those things are.. but we have a plan. We surround our self with things that would keep us on the plan and those dreams and hopes. Things that are good and right and true. But sometimes, something might come into our life.. maybe a distraction of some sort.. not always a bad distraction either.. that seems OH so good and totally fine.. or something we might want to try.. so we do. We get distracted with it.. and before we know it.. we are not only 1 step off course.. we are 28 steps off course from where we wanted to be and we find ourselves unhappy and wondering why we are where we are and how we got there. AND how in the HECK did that one little thing.. end us up RIGHT here? Oh and let me tell you. it's a LOT harder to go back 28 steps, than it is just ONE.
I know part of this process is learning and growing and we all are here on this earth to do that. To make mistakes or to make choices.. and see which one is good and which one is better. And NOT all distractions are bad either? But sometimes.. just because something is GOOD for us.. doesn't mean it's the BEST thing for us. Sometimes we have to walk away from something good.. for something that is better.
Last summer, I was going through some hard things, decisions and struggles and trials. One of course was my dad's death.. but even before that, there were other things too. I was really struggling with some choices I had to make.. because from the outside, they seemed so good! They were things that made me happy, stuff I was spending my time doing that seemed good and all-right. But the more I got into them, the more I realized that while they were good and happy things.. they were not the BEST things for me at that time. That they were getting me off course from where I wanted to be... as a mother, a friend, a wife.. a daughter. That even though they were good, I needed to leave them behind and choose the things that were better. WHich isn't always east. And it's not always easy to know which is the BETTER.
Well as I was going through this, I got to spend some time with one of my True's, one of my besties.. Melody Ross.We were at CHA in Chicago.. and sharing a room together and we got to have some really long GOOD talks. After one of our long talks.. the next day.. she wrote me a Brave Girl daily Truth. If you don't know what these are.. they are daily emails she and her sister send out from their Brave Girls Club website. Just daily bits of inspirations and words of wisdom. Truly love them. Well, that day, she had woke up and written one just for me.. it of course went out to the thousands of people who subscribe to those emails.. but she told me later that morning that it was meant for me. She knew about the decisions i was having to make.. and knew I needed a little tough love. This is what she wrote..
Dear Uncommon Girl,
Sometimes the very bravest thing we can ever do is to walk away from
something that we want very very very much, but that we know deep in
our gut is not meant for us. The other side of this brave decision,
is the holding tight to something else that is scary or humdrum or
not quite what we thought we really wanted...but that we KNOW deep
in our gut is our own divine path...the path to our most incredible,
uncommon life.
The really wonderful consequence of making these kinds of decisions is
that little by little....sometimes really fast and sometimes really
slow.....that scary or humdrum thing somehow transforms into the most
incredible, beautiful, miraculous and PERFECTLY IMPERFECT and joyful
thing that we could EVER imagine....in fact, we usually can not even
BEGIN to imagine how perfect this thing is going to become if we just
step out on that scary and sometimes very painful leap of faith. Life
has a way of making something very tremendous out of something
inconceivably boring or scary.
That's what bravery is, lovely friend.....it is deciding what to let go
of and what to hold on to......no matter how it feels in this moment...
knowing that you are giving up something very very good for something
OH SO MUCH BETTER.....the BEST in fact.......having faith that when you
listen to your heart, no matter how scary or disappointing the news it
has to give you....that EVERYTHING will ALWAYS work out beautifully in
the end when you make brave choices that are YOUR RIGHT CHOICES.
You know what it is....and you can do it.
Love you forever.xoxo
After I read that message.. I seriously cried.. because I know what she was saying was true. I KNEW that I had to get back on path.. that while sometimes that path may seem "humdrum" or boring.. and the little step I take off to the left or the right.. seems SO much more exciting.. that the PATH that is true.. and what is best. AND that actually it IS the thing that can bring us the most happiness. the most joy, the most comfort. And that it's not always easy to take steps back... after you have gone 17 steps off the the left.. and need to come back 16 of them to get back on track. But the crazy and beautiful things is we can.
I'm not really sure the point of this whole post, it probably doesn't make much sense either, but I guess lately I have just been trying to really put into perspective which things are GOOD for me and which things are BEST. Because sometimes those good things.. can start to to take me off course and I don't even know it.. until I am so far off course, I sometimes get scared I don't know how to get back. Does that make sense?
I sometimes wish I always made perfect decisions.. or that I didn't have to suffer the consequences of not soo good ones.. but I have realized that that is what makes life wonderful. The ups and the downs.. the mistakes and the comebacks.. it's what MAKE US as a beautiful person.. it allows us to be sympathetic and empathetic and caring and loving and kind.. because we have been there and can relate and can console and can help others find their way back on course too.
So that's it.. just a wonderful lesson from Tami... that turned into a moment I really needed. Maybe sometimes I think too much. But I hope that I don't.
Well.. tomorrow we are leaving out of town for the weekend on a family campout. Im not even going to SAY that I hope to get something creatively done for this blog before I leave, because if I am at all honest... i just wont. Sorry.. just wont. This week I was supposed to be at CHA.. in Chicago. I always.. go.. infact I haven't NOT gone in 8 years. I go to see the new products coming out for our kit club and now our store. I also go to catch up with all my wonderful artsy friends in the industry, to connect, to enjoy them. It's always a good thing for me. Ben goes with me most of the time. But this time, I just felt like I should stay home, WE BOTH felt like we should stay home and spend that time with our family instead. It was a tough decision. Our plane tickets were already bought.. our hotel already reserved. But it felt right. That was part of staying on the path. I Gave up ONE good choice.. for something better.. you know? So we are leaving tomorrow.. and I can't wait to just be with my kids and hubby. Spend time on the boat, playing games, sitting around the campfire eating smores and tin foil dinners, reading books, maybe even some fishing? We need it. Our family is so busy, we need to reconnect. So i am excited. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend too.. YOU Deserve it!
oh and
Happy Wednesday!
thank you been going through stuff and need to make choices....
jeanie =0)
http://jeaniesdesigns.blogspot.com
Posted by: jeanie | July 20, 2011 at 06:11 PM
I agree completely,, sometimes the things you need to let go of arfe small, but make a BIG impact.Good luck Christy on you week with the family, relax-recharge-reconnect.. but most of all have fun>
Posted by: kristie taylor | July 20, 2011 at 06:22 PM
I have read evry word of your blog post Christy..... THANK YOU.... I need to reassess my life journey..... health, work, hobbies, my role as mum, housewife etc....life is starting to feel like a Merry Go Round and I want to get off.. :-(
ENJOY - (as Kristie Taylor said... relax-recharge-reconnect) on your Family time together......
i am going to take one step at a time..... Love your Blog <3
Posted by: Hondariders | July 20, 2011 at 06:41 PM
love you & love your true heart...WTG, girl!
xoxx
R
Posted by: Rhonna Farrer | July 20, 2011 at 09:58 PM
I love it when you share with us, because you never know when you will touch someone. Sometimes just knowing we are not the only ones who veer off course is enough :) Enjoy your family time.
Posted by: Toni K | July 20, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Hey cutie...thanks for sharing the story by Elder Uchtdorf...he is an amazing man who shares bits of wisdom that "teach" not "preach".
Have fun, fun, fun with your family...our kids grow up and leave home way to fast...you made the absolute BEST decision!
Huggers
xoxo
Posted by: Dottee O. | July 21, 2011 at 12:13 AM
Christy, I love your blog and I love your realness and sharing heart. I have only just discovered your blog and already I feel like you are someone I wish I could be friends with in real life. Keep being real and honest and learning. Life is an awesome journey with ups and downs but so worth the trip.
Posted by: Joanne Freeman | July 21, 2011 at 03:01 AM
Christy your blogs are so great because you are so real. I think everyone of us can relate to you at some point. Enjoy your summer and that camping trip and we will see you when we see you. Looking forward to She has 3 Hearts and Creative Color, both which I am registered for.
Posted by: Dorothy F | July 21, 2011 at 06:01 AM
Thank you for your words, it makes you so real to me! I can relate to it all and I appreciate your insights and honesty.
Enjoy your weekend!
Posted by: Donna L | July 21, 2011 at 06:31 AM
Wow. I needed that. Thank you, sweet uncommon girl.
Posted by: Medeah Kitsmiller | July 21, 2011 at 07:09 AM
You are awesome...enjoy your weekend and your family. You can be creative later. Love your art and your blog..it's wonderful and does so many people so much good! Tammie Ü
Posted by: Tammie Freeman | July 21, 2011 at 07:18 AM
lovely Christy!!!
I've never been to CHA for the same reasons. Thank you for such a lovely reminder and enjoy your family time!
Posted by: Allison Kimball | July 21, 2011 at 09:53 AM
Oddly enough I am a week ahead of you on this one. Last week getting ready to go to Hilton Head trying to figure out what crafts to pack. Jewelry, which I have been collecting to make things, Pan pastels to draw the ocean? Markers? Finally I decided to not bring anything except books. I did grab Neocolor crayons to journal if I choose. It's been great. Hope your trip goes well for you and yours.
Posted by: Jackie | July 21, 2011 at 11:11 AM
Great post Christy! We have some things in common...I am the YW president in my branch, I have diabetes, and am addicted to cola! lol
The advice that Melody gave you reminded me so much of her kind words when I couldn't decide whether or not to close my scrapbook store. It was hard to let go of my dream...but I don't regret it. Unfortunately, I've lost all creativity!!! lol...I can't wait to start your class on Monday...I know I'll find some inspiration there!! I hope you have an absolutely wonderful time on your camping trip.
Posted by: Johanna Edwards | July 21, 2011 at 11:18 AM
I really enjoyed reading your post and I totally agree about how the small choices that we make can deeply impact our lives. I find it funny that you mentioned that the fountain drinks don't bother you as much as having a can of soda, or soda from a bottle. I too have Fibromyalgia and I also indulge in the occasional diet pepsi from the fountain at a restaraunt or gas station. But if I try to drink it from a can, it bothers me so much. I can instantly feel it throughout my nerves and my whole body aches so much. I know that it is bad for me, and I deeply regret it everytime I go to a party and pop open a can. So I am not sure why I keep doing it. I have been struggling with this, so I can totally relate to your post. Anyways, enjoy your summertime with the kids at home, and don't apologize for your blog. I have been neglecting mine too.
Posted by: Gina Lideros | July 21, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Hi Christy
First off, I hope you & the family have a great time! Enjoy the vaca :) (I left my craft supplies home, just took some magazines & digital books!)
Thank you for sharing so much of you - not just the artist but the wife, mom & human being you are. Sometimes I see me in your posts, all the time I feel like a friend cheering you on.
Looking forward to the "Hearts" class. I enjoyed the "She Art" class immensely. I'm forever addicted to canvas art because of you ;)
Much love & admiration
Nerissa
Posted by: Nerissa Alford | July 21, 2011 at 01:43 PM
Christy, Nerissa got right. I think we all feel we see ourselves in your post, and cheer you on as a friend. That's where the special ingredient is that draws us to you, I think.
You're doing a great job chicky. Just keep being yourself!
Posted by: Kim B | July 21, 2011 at 03:03 PM
You are an admirable person. Thanks for sharing<3
Posted by: Rebecca | July 22, 2011 at 05:09 PM
Christy - Thank you SO much for sharing this! I've taken Melody's SR1 and now am in SR2. I was doing something that was good for me and something I *wanted* to do for the last yr or so, but I was really struggling with the impact it was having on me and my family. It was good for so many reasons, but it meant sacrificing things that were better. It took me awhile to realize how to get back on my path and SR1 was a huge part of what made me realize I was off course. Now SR2 has really reinforced my decisions to get back on my path. So, I feel like you were talking directly to *me* when you wrote this post. I hope you're enjoying your time reconnecting with your family! Thanks for sharing this journey with us, and please, PLEASE don't feel guilty or apologetic for not posting here frequently. Hugs to you! I'm so excited for 3 Hearts to start on Monday!!!
Posted by: Crafty Mom | July 22, 2011 at 08:11 PM
wow. You create the most amazing art I've seen in a long time. Your creativity always blows me away.
But this post was truly amazing. As a mother of 4, (2 teens), this post in going into my journal.
And girl, (I say this gently) quite apologizing! You do the best you can do with what you have right now. That's it. And that is exactly what is asked of you, right now.
You are a good woman!
Posted by: Colleen Kramer | July 24, 2011 at 07:07 AM
This post is SO on the mark, Christy, and I am SOOOOO PROUD of you for making the decision you did. About CHA. Because I've been to CHA, so I know exactly how difficult that decision must have been. I know how exciting and fun and delicious it is, with all the new products and meeting up with old friends and new ones...it was better than Disneyland...it's like the Disneyland for artsy crafty people! But you're SO ON THE MONEY about having to make choices and having to give up some good things for the best things in our lives...something I've been learning the hard way in my life lately (part of why I've been so persistent in my emails to you about 3 Hearts! LOL)...because we all have to learn this at some point in our lives. If we DON'T...I mean if we don't learn this...then these are the people who come to the ends of their lives (and I've seen them...when I worked hospice) and they have SO MANY REGRETS...so many "I wish I would have..." statements, so many choices they wish they would have made differently. And so many broken relationships, because they didn't choose wisely. YOU are choosing wisely. YOU are making the best choices. That takes SO MUCH COURAGE. You are being SO BRAVE. I love Melody's daily truth email that she wrote just for you!! And one more thing, my dear friend. PLEASE. Stop apologizing for being you. Stop apologizing for making the right choices - for choosing your family over your blog! That is where you SHOULD be. Your blog will be here. We will be here. Your family...your children...they will only be children for a short time. You only get one chance to teach them, to build them up, to spend this time, today, with them. You are making the right choices - don't apologize for that. Be proud of that. I love you for that. I haven't been posting on my blog either, b/c I've been too busy working on ME and my family and on making the right choices. And I'm not about to go apologize to anyone for it. Because I KNOW that I know that I know that I'm making the right choice. (Granted, I don't have a bazillion followers like you do...but nonetheless...the principle is the same...LOL) I love you!
Posted by: Jen Clark | July 25, 2011 at 01:47 PM
gosh i just love you...and i don't even know you!
you just seem to say the things that i need to hear at the time i need to hear them. it's funny because i found you and melody in different places at different times but you girls have had such a HUGE impact on my life over the last 6 months. HUGE! and you're 'trues'. amazing women, both of you!! can't wait to meet you in person at *spark*.
Posted by: marci | July 25, 2011 at 05:40 PM
I love the fact that you are genuine, and real...I am enrolled in She Art right now, and I love to watch your videos...again, real...I don't like phoney, or "put on"...YOU are real. Thank you for the lesson in this post. I did get one...
I echo what Marci says (above) I too, found BG and Melody and then came to you class later...BOTH were gifts in my life, in different ways..but I see the connection now.
And by the way, your story of the Cherry Pepsi, really made me LOL. And realize I AM one of those coffee people you spoke of :( But I have really cut back, baby steps...
Posted by: kathy | July 26, 2011 at 07:49 AM