wow.. i can't even begin to tell you how crazy and wonderful and crazy North Carolina was! I had all these grand plans to blog and return emails and facebook and all sorts of things while I was gone and holy heck that just didn't happen! lol
many many things transpired while I was there.. I met some wonderful beautiful people and created some really wonderful friendships that will last a lifetime! The days were long.. teaching and being with these wonderful ladies from 9 am until 9 pm.. each day was wonderful but also found it extremely exhausting on my body. MOST of which I think had to with the crazy weather that was going on there. Holy cow. I was in so much pain while I was there. Like non stop and hard hard pain. It was hard also being alone for 10 days. Away from my kids, my family and so far away from my closest friends. Have to admit it was a really hard 10 days.. but also some of the most rewarding 10 days I have ever experienced. I can't even being to express how much I loved teaching in that format. Really being able to share my love of art, my love of life and myself and who I am to 20 women each week. Getting to spend 4 days with them.. and ONLY them and just getting to know them and their lives and their loves as well. seriously i wish I could teach that way all of the time. It is truly a very unique and cool experience. and reminds me why I love teaching and sharing my art so much.
so things here at home while I was gone were a little crazy and I think sometimes just when you think you have life under control it just gives you another log for the fire.. one of those logs came in the form of a huge loss for us and our family. Our little dog max..
poops as I called him.. was hit by a car the friday night before I came home and was killed. My kids didn't know it at that time, as the women who hit him brought him to the door and when my husband saw his little crushed body, just wrapped him up and jumped into the car and took him to the vet. Max is allie's dog.. we gave him to her for her 12th birthday but really he was all of ours. We all loved him so much. So after my husband called me and said he didn't make it.. I asked him to let me call the kids on facetime on our phones and tell them face to face about max. It was a very very hard phone call. I could tell they thought I was calling for some exciting reason and when I told them the news.. with HUGE tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.. the tears and cries and bawls and whales that followed from them just crushed me to the core. I wanted so badly to be in the room with them and hold them. Allie just rocked and cried back and forth and little noah just cried hysterically for at least an hour. It was a very very hard moment as a parent to be so far away from your kids.. and I had already been gone for over a week.. and had missed them so terribly.. that it was just one more thing that made my heart ache for them and for home. Our family will miss max. We had a small funeral for him sunday when I got home.
Ben made him a casket and we all said our goodbyes and put our love notes in his casket with him. We started to let each child put a shovel of dirt in the grave and little noah cried out.. wait! i wanted to write a love note on his casket like we did grandpa. So ben helped him down into the hole and he pulled out this giant sharpie he had.. and wrote "we love you" on the box.
We all just stood there and cried. It was an awesome healing moment and bonding experience. Then someone said "not grandpa has someone to keep him company.. little maxie"
So yeah.. North carolina was so much fun. So many awesome memories had there. During the couple of days I had off I was able to take a road trip with friends and made some awesome memories with that too. So many funny stories and moments that will forever be in my heart from those 10 days. But honestly have to say.. some of the hardest 10 days of my life.
I came home with a new found resolution to DO WHAT MATTERS MOST. that is my motto.. has been forever.. but I think sometimes we let things start to get into the way of our intentions.. and while some things are good.. we need to choose the things that are best. Right now my family is my best and also I have to admit.. I decided over the last 10 days that teaching.. and mainly ONLINE teaching is my love. I LOVE sharing my heart and love others sharing their heart with me. It truly fills my soul. I have had a lot of other great opportunities come over the last year as well, with liscneing and tv shows and other things.. but I decided while I was in NC that while all of those are awesome and fun and the chance of a lifetime. if I don't focus on what TRULY brings me happiness.. which is sharing on my blog, connecting with other women.. sharing my art.. my process.. helping others find themselves through life and art. if I don't DO that and I endup filling my days up with too many other things.. I will find myself once again unhappy with what I am doing in my life. HUGE lesson learned over the last 10 days. Excited to move forward into my new resolution of putting my family and my art first.
Which brings me to the title of this blog post.. one week.
So I haven't actually blogged about this very much. I think only once or twice.. but in a week I have my first BIG workshop of the year.. starting.. and it's with the VERY talented Junelle Jacobson called the Art of Wild Abandonment.
Her and I talked on the phone yesterday just going over some of the videos and things we have been editing and i have to tell you.
HER SOUL is in this class. wow. when I started watching the video that had been edited and in its final stage of being loaded to the classroom.. I was in AWE. IN AWE of what this women puts out there.
She doesn't do this for fame.. or money or praise or recognizstion.. she creates becauase it's a passion she has inside of her.. it's a way to express herself and her life and her love of God and all things good.
I spent the entire morning today watching videos of her week one and I just cried. I truly cried. I think I kept saying over and over.. this girl just blows my mind.. she freaking rocks. She makes me want to be a better artist and share more of myself with others. Her process is so different than mine in that she truly looks around her and sketches life in all forms and then paints life in all forms
I don't. I sersiouly sit down and with no other thought I just paint. There is no rhyme or reason.. and I thought I would NEVER have an interest in sketching or learning a process where I "journal" my life through drawings and then turning them into paintings and pieces of mixed media.. but after watching her and listening to her and her process..
I seriously went out and bought a simple sketchbook and a pencil. not a fancy one either.. just a simple number 2 pencil to sit and just sketch my thoughts. NOT WRITE MY THOUGHTS.. SKETCH THEM. wow a healing experience it is. Life for me right now is so full of crazy moments and my heart is so fragile right now.. and I have to be honest and say this class has not come at a more perfect time for ME. Crazy to think that.. because it wasn't planned that way.. but I am right in the middle of some of the hardest times of my life and this class is giving me huge direction and healing from it.
Anyhow.. just had to share with you how much I am excited about this class.. so many of you area joining me.. and have already signed up.. and I can not WAIT to have you join me. wow.. SO excited for this!!!
If you want to learn more about this class with Junelle (and me.. I am actually doing it to.. you will see my process of what Junelle teaches.. and hopefully not laugh through it!! lol) but I would love to have you join me too!
You can learn more about it HERE.. TRULY hope you join me.
This week.. hopefully thursday? I am going to do a huge long blog post about North Carolina and these wonderful beautiful women I met. Can't wait to share them with you!!
Hope you have a wonderful tuesday!