christytomlinson

There are moments..

When I think back through my life.. over the last 37 years
(almost 38) ... it's easy to pick out the moments that have truly
defined and changed my life. Easy because when they happened I knew in my heart
what I was feeling, or hearing or seeing was true. Either for good or for bad.
That is the blessing of our Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost. The simple
whispering and promptings we are given to know and feel truth.

The past few weeks my heart has been in limbo.. struggling with you know.. the beautiful
things we call trials. Those wonderful hard moments and struggles we are given
to help us grow and be humble, and be broke and mend and find our way back up
again.. stronger and more beautiful than ever before. This particular trial has
been one that has been on my mind for months actually but for some reason.. and
you all know what I am talking about.. there are times when moments before you
know the trial is about to really rear it's head.. that your heart is
struggling and feeling uneasy. We are beautiful women (and men) of our Heavenly
Father and have been given divine spirits.. and we KNOW.. we know when things
are going to happen. Whether it's conscious or sub conscious.. I believe our spirits know.

This past week for me was one of those moments.. when something I have been
struggling with and trying to figure out.. finally finally came to it's moment.
I was nervous and scared and anxious about what the outcome would be.. but I
KNEW in my heart that no matter what.. I was loved by my Father in Heaven and
that this too.. like in past with all trials.. would be one beautiful bright
and courage moment of love, clarity and truth.

and so it came.. and as hard as it was.. I have to tell you. the Lord TRULY loves us!!
I woke up today with the most beautiful feeling of love and peace and calm and
determination. As some of you know I am LDS, Mormon.. a memeber
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints... and there are things
that I TRULY believe in my life that bring my happiness and hope and faith and
charity and LOVE and closer to my Heavenly Father, my family and my Savior.
Some of those things include saying my prayers, reading my scriptures, being
faithful in temple and church attendances, giving service to others.. .. and so
many many many more. But what I find is that my heart goes through times that
while I BELIEVE and truly know I should be doing all of those things.. I slack
off.. I let life get in the way.. I let the daily life of making a living,
raising kids, cleaning house.. you name it.. it fills up our day so fast that
we forgot to do the most important things of all. And usually its not because I
don't want to do them.. i just FORGET..

but today when I woke up.. I had this DEEP DEEP DEEP!!!! sound resolution to strengthen
my testimony of the Gospel and of Christ as much as possible through praying
often, reading my scriptures DAILY.. giving service.. doing good. ALL of those
things that bring me closer to the Lord. To being a better person, a more kind
person, a more loving and forgiving person. and all of this resolution and
sound calm testimony has come from this trial I have been dealing with for so
so many months. So then it's such and wonderful things to think.. that EVERY
trail, every heartache, EVERY thing that is hard that we deal with, we go
through.. whether it's health related or a personal struggle or family
struggle.. or even financial struggle.. that ALL of those things.. IF WE LET
IT.. can teach us the most beautiful life lessons. They can strengthen who we
are as a person.. they can truly push us to do better and be better. They can
become those moments we remember and WANT to remember forever.

If we let them. Our Trials and our struggles and our mistakes can either break us.. or
they can build us. It take hope, and faith and COURAGE to decide how we will
let it affect us. Yesterday I have to admit.. that I was tinkering on the
other.. I was in a place where I felt despair and helpless and couldn't see ALL
of the good that was coming from this. Then a dear friend of mine.. called on
the phone and shared with me some of the most beautiful advice ever and
reminded me of what I already knew.. but just couldn't seem to remember..

To let my adversity teach me the most amazing things. To not cloud my mind with
sadness and helplessness or pain or beat myself up over things. but to look for
the tiny miracles happening around me and opportunities from this trial that
could and WILL change who I am forever. That will help me to be more loving,
kind, gentle, caring.. FORGIVING.. true.. faithful to my family.. my friends
and my religious beliefs. To be Strong and steadfast.. to be immovable from
what I know to be true.

what a wonderful wonderful reminder and lesson she gave to me yesterday. And as I
spent the rest of the day thinking about what she said.. I had this HUGE
burning in my soul that said.. you can do this! you can make it through this!
Everything will be okay and this will a great and wonderful thing you will cherish forever.

So that's it.. I just had to share that with you today. My heart is so full. I can't even
express to you how full my heart is. I know this trial isn't completely over..
but I have a new resolve to turn this trial into a time I can just soak in
learning and growth in my Testimony of what we as human beings are and should be.

Thanks for letting me share this with you!! I hadn't planned on blogging about this
today.. I know I have so many other things to share with you today.. but today
I just think I will leave this post as it is.

I want to also say THANK YOU.. so so many of you who email me on a daily basis with
your stories of courage and love and kindness. I have hundreds and hundreds of
friends that I have never met who give me hope and love and strength. I swear..
it happens so often that I will be feeling down about something or struggling
with something and I will get an email or a facebook message from someone I
don't even really know.. someone who reads my blog or has taken my class and
just shares with me something i NEED to hear.. it's amazing and truly beautiful
the Tender mercies the Lord gives us.. and how He works THROUGH us to help and
show HIs love to others.. amazing huh? I am also blessed with a TRULY amazing
family.. my husband is one in a million. We have had our share of trials.. but
wow. I could never imagine how truly Christlike someone could be. He is my hero
and I am in awe of who is is. My kids too.. they aren't perfect. They each
struggle with things this world throws at us. They sometimes fall and sometimes
have to pick themselves back up again.. but they have always been humble to
acknowledge their mistakes and then make the resolve to do better and be
better. just grateful for all the people in my life. My TRUES!!! I am truly
truly blessed.

I hope today you feel how much I love you all. How much I truly believe that we are
good, wonderful women (and men). Who have so much potential in this life to be who we should
be. To live how we should be.. to remember that no matter how hard a trial may
feel or what mistakes we make.. we will come out stronger and better than we
did before.. if we will let it. love you all.. truly and honestly.. love you all.

happy
wednesday.

 

Finding Balance... week 2 sneak peek of the Living Canvas Workshop!

 

Okay so if you know me well.. I DO not balance my life well. I actually have really good balance when it comes to standing on my head, doing yoga poses (i don't actually do yoga, but it's fun to see if you can do the poses and think you are cool because you can. lol).. anyhow totally off track.

So while I have good balance. I don't or haven't I guess I should say balance my life very well. I have this creative spirit where when my heart gets a hold of an idea.. it just runs with it and EVERYTHING else falls to the way side.. until I realize my laundry hasn't been done in a month or my kids pants look like high waters because they outgrew them months ago. Or that my blog hasn't been posted on in almost two weeks!! Yes not good balance. lol

HOWEVER one of the things I learned when working with Art.. was to FIND balance.. and what that means for ME. ANd why it's important and WHY it is good for me and for life and how actually when I have balance in my life i am so much more productive and happy and present.

so what does this all have to do with anything? Well as I mentioned LAST week on THIS BLOG POST.. i am debuting each month for the next five weeks.. a sneak peek of each of the weeks of my upcoming workshop: Your living Canvas.. with my friendArt McCracken.  Week 2 is all about.. you guessed it.. Balance and the Six F's. I will let the video tell you more about that and what it has meant for me.

Again.. I am seriously so passionate about this workshop! I SURE hope you join me in it!!

 

I hope you all have a wonderful monday!

Plan B

okay.. last week didn't go quite as I had planned it.. wanted to do a post on Donna's amazing event.. but that will happen later next week.

Yesterday launched a really big workshop for me.. with Junelle Jacobson and i have to say this class. wow. well besides it being one of the biggest classes we have done (content wise there are i believe over 25videos in week one ALONE lol).. it also has been one of the most inspiring for me because just like you I am learning. So last week was crazy busy making sure everything was perfect and ready for that class.. plus catching up.. getting back to over 1400 emails.. ordering hundreds of products that were out of stock for the store... ordering kit club  products, kitting kit club products.. two magazine articles to be written.. doing licencing stuff.. you name it.. it's all on back order if you will and trying to be 'restocked" in my normal daily life. That doesn't include just being a mom.. my religious obligations, being a wife.. doing housework. Catching up on the everyday of normal mom life. I tell you I am spent. I am sure my friends think I am dead for sure! lol..

Anyhow.. a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine sent me this quote she saw posted on facebook. My life has took an unexpected turn over the last month.. and not just in the way of me "working" and deciding what is most important to me.. or my health..  but some other pretty big life struggles... personal life struggles have come into my life. Things I truly thought I would never be going through and yet.. here I am. And it seemed like just not ONE thing happened but a bunch of things all at once. Constantly changing my reality and my perception of what normal is and would should be for me.  I was seriously starting to feel down.. starting to do the "why me".. or "poor me" and how can I go on!!?? lol

and this quote just seriously.. kicked my butt back into reality and what I truly believe.. and that is EVERYTHING happens for a reason and is to build character and in the end makes us stronger and better and more compassionate. So i want to share this simple quote with you today.. and leave you with this thought.. that no matter what.. there is always good in the bad... always a way to look up.. always a way to have the glass half full instead of half empty.. we just need to decide which person we are going to be.

Here is the quote..

*********************

Plan B

Life is all about how you handle Plan B.

Plan A is always my first choice. You know, the one where everything works out to be happily every after. But more often than not, I find myself dealing with the upside-down, inside-out version.  Where nothing goes as it should. It's the point that the real test of my character comes in..

Do I sink, or do I swim?  do I wallow in self pity and play the victim, or simply shift gears and make the best of my situation?  The choice is all mine...

life is all about how you handle Plan B.

(Suzy Toronto)

 

Think about your plan b and how to make the BEST of your situation.. I am challenging you.. and Myself to as well. I know I will be better, stronger and happier for it.

happy Tuesdsay!

lazy days..

one of my FAVORITE things about Christmas day is the fact we just stay home. We do all of our family visits on Christmas Eve and it's always wonderful and magical (here is a picture of us at my sisters house on Christmas Eve)

 we had dinner and then the younger children acted out the Nativity story as my sister read it for us. It's always been a tradition for the last several years to go to my dad's house and read the story.. infact my dad INSISTED on it.. before any gifts were exchanged.. it was the reason for the season. Last year was the only year we didn't.. I think we were all still so raw from loosing him, we didn't know how to cope and get through that night without him.. but something very special did happen last Christmas with my dad.. and Christmas eve.. probably one of my hardest and yet most favorite memories of last year. I wrote about it last year on christmas day.. you can read about that post here. Anyhow..

One of my favorite things about Christmas Day is just staying at home, hanging with my kids and my hubby.. wearing our pj's all day (except okay.. I do that alot anyway.. haha). Everyone playing with their new toys.. watching movies.  Just low key.. oh and having a huge breakfast (which is a tradition we had growing up when I lived with my mom!).. love that.  One thing I always love is that usually that is the day I do a project I have been wanting to do forever. not for work, not for someone else.. but for me. I would not worry about the messy house or the dirty kitchen and just craft or scrapbook (back in the day) or read that book I had been wanting to start. (I can't start a book unless I have time to finish it THAT day.. because I love to read and I get so lost in my book my entire house goes on "take care of yourself mode" until I am done! LOL) You probably know what I mean.

Well this year I was looking forward to it EVEN more.. because we had been traveling so much and had been gone so much. I have started making beaded wrap bracelets (many of you comment and ask me where I get the bracelets I wear in my videos).. . I love wearing a combination of leather bracelets that I have stamped words or names into and wearing it with a beaded wrap and then a simple braided bracelet out of thread or cord. I love just mixing and matching.. but wearing stuff that isn't clanky. Here is a few of the beaded ones I have made.

 I spent a few hours before our Football trip last week gathering all the supplies.. cording, thread, beads.. you name it.. ready to just sit on the couch and watch movies and make all sorts of new bracelets for friends, family and myself. Well Christmas came and man for some reason.. after christmas morning and then after church.. ben and I came home... snuggled up on our couch and SLEPT until 6 PM!!!  we didn't even eat.. let alone make that "christmas breakfast for our kids!  lol.. 

We woke up to a phone call from our 15 year old asking us if we were going to come down to my dad's house for dinner.. since everyone else (my sisters and brothers)were already down there waiting for us to play games and have fun. I think we would have slept clear until the next day if he hadn't have called us. most of our kids were gone at down to my dad's house.. no wonder we slept.. the house was dead quiet! lol. and while sleeping wasn't a bad thing.. all day yesterday I kept thinking how BUMMED i was that i wasted my entire Christmas day sleeping.. the one day I get to really do what I want.. not feel like I have this responsibility to keep a clean house or answer an email.. or something! lol.. and I Slept! So all day yesterday while I worked I kept thinking.. oh I just want to go back and to yesterday and only sleep for like an hour and THEN make those dang bracelets! lol..

Today I woke up.. ready to get into my studio and paint.. as I have 20 or so new designs I had told my agent I would get to her by the end of this week for my portfolio.. (for the licencing show in January).. and I just could NOT get motivated! I had the inspiration.. I knew what I wanted to create.. but I just had NO motivation to do it. so guess what? instead of working today (and man I hope Jan, my agent, isn't reading this! lol i love you jan! )..  well instead of working.. I got back into my pj's.. sat in my bed .. watched the new show "scouted" and made bracelets.. ALL day. I kept texting my friend Meredith.. that I should be working, not wasting time.. and she kept texting back.. that she was proud of me! lol. 

So the point of this post? well nothing really.. I had was just here in my office thinking how I was going to plan some fun creative blog for tomorrow.. about creating some wonderful art.. and yet I didn't do any of that today.. I just sat and made adorable bracelets for people I love.. I guess that sometimes those moments are just ones we need. This morning I woke feeling un-motivated and just not wanting to do ANYTHING.. and now..after spending the day just doing something I wanted to do.. but shouldnt have.. I feel TOTALLY inspired and motived to get back to work tomorrow and get all my assignments done before the new year. and it felt good. I hope you all sometimes take a little time out of YOUR busy day and life to just do something that maybe doesn't feel important or like you have time for but that makes you feel good. :)

Happy Tuesday!

 

grateful for the everyday...

 

this week has been super crazy getting my family ready for Thanksgiving, deadlines and just the everyday hustle bustle of holidays.. but this morning, as I sat in husbands comfy chair, reading the paper and listen to the sound of well... nothing. I realized it's the little things I am truly grateful for. 

For weeks now I have been working my butt off trying to get deadlines done so I could enjoy this week with my family and enjoy our trip to boise.. to see Ben's  family who we haven't seen in just about a year. It seemed the harder I worked, the more deadlines seemed to creep in.. that I had either forgotten about.. or just new ones that hadn't surfaced yet. Anyhow.. at the end of last week.. it was VERY apparent that I would not be able to finish everything before we left for Boise on Wednesday. 

The biggest hurdle  was that I am leaving next week to teach in Puerto Rico and while most of my deadlines weren't due until December 5th..  I will be gone almost all of next week.. it meant I would need to have everything done by this weekend. So I started looking into flights from Boise to here. My new plan was to go with ben to Boise.. and spend thanksgiving day with my family and his and then fly home friday morning, to finish up my deadlines.  (boise is on the western side of the state and we are on the eastern)  but wow.. living in a small town.. the price to fly from boise to here.. was nearly $350 dollar one way! that just seemed ridiculous.. so after much talk and thought, my husband and i decided it would just be best if I stayed home and worked.. got everything done and he and the kids would go to Boise. He offered to stay home too.. but I said no way. His brother, whom he hasn't seen in a couple of years was coming.. and all but one of his 8 brothers and sisters would be together.. I was not making him stay home for me. Allie offered to stay home with me too.. but I just knew she really wanted to go. She loves her aunts and cousins and hardly ever gets to see them and she has been talking about how excited she has been for a month now to go.. so I said. no.. TRULY I will be okay.. im a big girl.  It's life right? Sometimes we overcomit and underestimate the time it will take us to do things.. and one thing about being an adult is owning up to those mistakes and learning from them.

Yesterday I have to admit was AMAZING. My family pulled out of the driveway at 1:30 pm.. to head to Boise and for the rest of the day.. until about midnight.. I got more done than I have ever in an entire day. The house was quiet, the house STAYED CLEANED.. there were no meals to cook, no "mom I need this" or mom he's being mean" .. no little fires to put out..i was getting ataste of being single and alone. My friend Margie lives alone.. her kids are grown and so she has her house all to herself. Every time I go visit I marvel at how everything is in its place and things are so well kept and life is so quiet and easy going.. and I always say to her.. how lucky she must be to just have so much peace and quiet. She always says.. "you just wait.. someday it will come to you when all your kids are gone and then you will miss it".. and I laugh and say.. um yeah NO. lol

Well this morning as I woke up.. I  lookedover to see where my husband would normally be.. I kinda missed him not seeing him there. I swear I complain every morning when he rolls over and pretty much "attacks" me like we are little kids in a wrestling  match.. He's like a kid at heart and loves to just bug the heck out of me each morning.. by "loving" me to death. He'll quietly roll over.. put his arms around me.. and just when I think we are going to quietly lay there snuggling.. he attacks! lol..  he'll start making fun annoying noises and kissing my neck, my ears.. my face.. and he always has scruff and he just thinks it so funny to tickle me.. and i HATE being tickled and so I am constantly laughing begging for mercy for him to just stop and snuggle and he laughs and does it even more because he knows it bugs me. and some mornings I think.. man I wish I could just sleep in an wake up in peace.. and SOME mornings.. even though he always means well and fun..  some mornings.. well I am not so nice about the way I say stop either. oooh.. don't catch me in a bad mood when i've woken up on the wrong side of the bed. My poor husband.

 Well last night as I went to bed I was thinking how I would get to sleep in peace  this morning.. wake up when I wake up.. instead of being woke up by him snuggle and nuzzling in my ear.  But as I rolled over and saw that emply spot.. I actually kinda felt a little sad.. it's thanksgiving after all and the one thing I am probably most grateful for.. is not right there beside me.

Then I came down and sat and read the paper in Ben's big comfy chair and again.. looked around at the house.. so quiet and clean and still... and I realized.. what I am most grateful for is the mess and the noise and the hustle and bustle and the sound of kids annoying each other and needing their mom to figure things out. I am grateful  for the crazy little chaitoc moments of having 6 kids, a husband who works at home with you and the messy house and crazy life that comes with it. I am grateful for my imperfect wonderful life. 

I knew today would be somewhat lonely for me and while I did have a lot of friends who offered to let me come to their house for dinner.. I decided last week that I really wanted to do something different this year. Something that I would not be able to do on any other thanksgiving just because I do have family. I thought the one thing I have always wanted to do was go serve thanksgiving dinner at the local homeless shelter and go visit those elderly at the care homes that don't have family. Take them a little gift basket or something.  I decided I was going to spend part of my day giving back... serving. Well even that hasn't turned out just like I had planned.. as I called around to the local shelters and left messages on phones.. I wasn't getting any responses.. no phone calls back.. no "sure we would love you to help" being left on my phone!.. and finally when I did get a hold of someone.. I found out that most of those places actually have a WAIT-LIST of people who want to serve and you have to volunteer months in advance to get on the list to come in and serve on thanksgiving and Christmas! I was annoyed at first.. but then I realized.. wow.. what a great community I live in! A wait list to SERVE!!  that rocks!  Then I called the elderly care center here in Shelley and asked them if there were people who didn't have family or weren't leaving for the holidays that I could come visit.. bring a gift basket too. I asked them if they could tell me their names or a little about them so I could make a fun basket that would be just personal for them.  The first thing that they told me was  that most of them were leaving as they did have family.. but even the ones that weren't.. had family coming to visit them.. and they told me that even besides that, they  couldn't give me any personal info as I was not family.. so while I could stop by and say hi to people, I couldn't have any info about them before hand.  Which totally make sense.. saftey first..   but this morning as I sat in that comfy chair I had to laugh as all my great plans to serve others today.. and spend the day doing something totally different.. just was NOT working out. So funny. and what a good lesson. I suppose if I was lost in service today, i probably wouldn't be sitting here being able to listen to the quietness of this day.. and realize what I am truly grateful for. I suppose there is a reason for everything.

So today, as a mom and a wife.. I just wanted to say.. that I AM GRATEFUL for that gift..  it doesn't always seem like a gift. Marraige is NOT easy.. it's hard infact.. it takes commitment and forgiveness and push and pull...  and being a parent isn't easy either.. kids are not easy. Kids make messes and cause havoc and need you constantly for things. and make decisions that make your hair fall out.. but in the end.. it's those little things that seem to require the most of you.. and take the most out of you.. that you are grateful for and would miss if they are gone. Today I am grateful for those things which take the most out of me but also bring the most joy I could ever imagine.  Today I am grateful for the everyday... my family

I hope all of you get to spend today with family and friends .. even if it seems like a crazy day of chaous and messy dishes and family in every inch of your house. Today I am going to go visit my dad at the cemetery and then work on these dang deadlines that kept me home in the first place.. so that the minute my family walks in the door saturday night I can spend the entire evening with them.. kissing on them, snuggling with them..annoying the heck out of them.. (hehe).

 

(this was a picture taken a few years ago at An amusement park.. just love it.. one of my favorites)

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope today is wonderful!

Beautiful Heartbreaks...

okay... so it's been a while since I wrote a seriously blog post.. hopefully this is okay :)..but it's been in my mind lately..

when I was at CKU a couple of weekends ago, I had the pleasure of listening to Hilary Weeks give the Opening Keynote Speech. She is also a singer and songwriter.. has many CDs published in the Christian market, as well as travels and does motivational speaking with her music.

I also got to talk with her a bit afterwards and have since talked to her on the phone too. She is just truly a wonderful and positive person. A friend for life.. that is for sure!  Her message at CKU was so beautiful. It was basically about being positive and finding the good in everything.. even in heartbreaks.

As I sat and listened to her sing and talk (she did a lot back and forth ).. I just really reflected on my own personal life of all the "heartbreaks" I have had over the last few years.. and even throughout my life and wondered if I have always seen the good in them or if I still look back at them as a one of those experiences I wished had never happened. I mean I can go back to many of my high schools experiences and wish they had never happened (like being de-pants in the hallway at school, my junior year.. in front of a large group of my best "guy" friends... wearing my purple silk underwear.. seriously?).  They thought they were being so funny.. I wanted to kill them. I DO wish that never happened. But at the same time, I remember taking away from that experience that instead of  spending weeks being embarrassed and avoiding everyone.. I remember deciding to just take it like a man or a woman :).. and laugh like everyone else.(of course.. payback is always great too.. and I don't think any of them liked it much when it came their way.. hahah).

But if I think of more recent things in my life that seemed to be a heartbreak or a trial or experience that  was hard.. am I really looking at those experiences for the positive instead of the negative? I remember talking a few weeks ago with someone about my dad's death. Many of you know he died last year and I have told this story before. So sorry if you have already heard it.  

It was a weekend, we all happened to be together, at church blessing my baby brothers son. Five of my dad's 7 children (including me) were there, and 25 of his 27 grand-kids, as well as his wife and some close friends. We were sitting on the pews, shortly after the blessing and sacrament had been passed, I looked over to my dad, who was sitting next to my husband.. and he was having a massive heart attack. He died a few minutes later there in the church.. infront of his children, grandchildren, wife and friends. At the time, it was a horrible experience.. I couldn't image why on earth God would want to put my children and my siblings and I through witnessing such a traumatic event.. but throughout the year.. I have often reflected back and have felt SO BLESSED that actually we were all there. That we were able to spend the last few moments of his life with him.. watching him partake in special ordinances that we consider sacred. He also had been going camping a lot on weekends.. by himself in West Yellowstone.. in random places.. and if he had been alone that weekend.. somewhere in those mountains.. I can't image the heartache and guilt we  would have all felt for not being with him in his last moments of life. So while that was a very traumatic experience.. I can tell you that experiencing it together with my children, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews.. it actually  has brought us so much closer together.. the weeks and months that followed were those of true bonding amongst all of us. I thought my family was close before that experience.. but now.. i can't even describe the close bond we all feel. We also feel so blessed that we were there.. and with him at the time.

So that was an experience for me.. that at the time, seemed like a tragic heartbreak.. but reflecting back.. was actually a beautiful one. I can think of other experience over the last few years that at the same time might seem like experiences I want to forget.. but if I truly look at them deeply enough, I can find actually the good in all of them.. the beautiful blessing or lesson that I learned from each one.. that only builds onto my life experiences and builds character and soulful depth. It's not an easy thing to do.. always find the positive.. holy cow.. are you kidding me? Sometimes I think to myself.. really? What is the good in THAT?  but after listening to Hillary's speech last week and watching her final video.. I realized... i really could. I have found many times in the past year that some of my biggest heartbreaks have actually been lessons that I needed to learn. I have said this before.. but there is a huge difference between being empathetic and sympathetic and I have realized that sometimes in order for me to truly be non-judgemental and compasionate to others trials or heartbreaks.. I have had to go through them myself to learn that lesson. I know for me.. it's always a humbling experience. Don't get me wrong, there are mistakes I have made that I wish I could take back.. wish had never happened.. but not so much because of the consequences that happened to me.. but because of the hurt I caused other people. But then again... I supposed it has a beautiful heartbreak for both of us.. a lesson we both learned. I am always sorry for those mistakes.. but I  know I can learn from them too.

Anyhow.. just something I have been thinking about lately.. this summer I experienced a big heartbreak in my life with a dear friend..  and at the time, I just wasn't understanding what or why I was going through that experience.. the heartbreak still hasn't completely healed but the magical thing about it is that through the process, i have opened my heart to other friends..beautuful women and even my husband.. who I never would have.. and have strengthend those friendships more than I could have ever imagined. It was completely un-intentional.. but I can see now, I would have never let my guard down and let those people that close into my life.. if I hadn't absolutely needed it. So while I still am very sad over the experience, I am starting to see the beautiful heartbreak in it. At the end of Hilary's talk.. she played a video for us.. a song that she wrote and sang.. I want to show it to you, because it just brings this message closer to the heart than what I have to say, ever could..  It's a beautiful message.. about beautiful heartbreaks.  Hope you enjoy it.. and hope you can find the positive in those heartbreaks you may be going through too.

oh and ps. I was going to announce the winners of my last blog post for Jeanne's Class I think I will wait until my next blog post this week :) if that's okay :)

Happy Tuesday!

 

taking a leap.... and a dream come true

Yesterday, I had to wake up early (okay so not SUPER early.. but for summer and for staying up late the night before.. it was early to me).. early enough that my entire house was still asleep and the sun was just starting to come up. I had to get up so I could officially "launch" the start of the 3 Hearts workshop.. which started again yesterday! (and some of you have asked if you can still sign up and join.. and the answer is yes ! love to have you! :))..

 anyhow..  We had been gone all weekend camping, and so my son had put themail on my desk from while we were gone. I hadn't been in my office since we left.. and when I came down to launch the workshop, I saw a letter from Stampington & Company  sitting on my keyboard and underneath it...what looked like a packaged magazine...  my heart skipped a beat!

A few months ago.. I got an email from Jennifer, the editor at Artful Blogging magazine, asking if they could feature my blog in their upcoming issue.  Um.. seriously? I about dropped my phone (i was talking to my husband).. and I started to squeal!  My husband was trying to figure out what was wrong.. because when I get excited about something, apparantly  I scream like something is wrong.. but really I am just so excited I can't talk and it comes out more of a "I'm scared".. not "I'm excited" kind of scream.  Anyhow.. I couldn't even talk. I actually started to cry.. seriously.. really? seriously?  YES!! A dream come true. Of course when I tried to explain to my husband about the magazine (which I love and have a subscription too).. and how they were asking me to be in it.. and how HUGE this was for me.. what an honor.. what a blessing and truly humbling.. how it was one of those "leaps" on my list.. he got it and got super excited for me as well. :)

anyhow, of course I responded back.. I would LOVE to be included.. what a huge honor.. I think I actually rambled on.. and on.. much like I am doing now.. telling her what a fan of the magazine I was, how humbled I was to be included and that heck yes, I would love the opportunity.  That was months ago and all of my material and my article was turned in months ago as well..  I kept thinking in the back of my mind that maybe the issue would be coming out soon.. but for some reason I had it in my head that it was in September.. so I was not expecting this wonderful little surprise on my desk when I woke up yesterday morning..

 

As I opened the magazine..(LOVE that it is red. so me.. so my favorite color in the whole world). I was so excited to see that they had actually featured a piece of my art on the cover as well! Totally not expected either!  I just had to share it with someone! My entire house was sleeping.. and so I ran upstairs to show my husband.. who of course was SUPER excited too! lol (and I mean that in a totally sarcastic way, as I don't think I even got him to wake up.. we had stayed up WAY to late the night before)... I hurried and got the workshop up and going.. so I could sit on the couch with cozy blanket and pour through the magazine.. It wasn't until I had read the entire magazine and was looking at the cover again that I saw that not only had they put my piece of art on the cover.. they had also actually featured my NAME! Right underneath the amazingly talented women.. Holly Becker from Decor8 AND  Tiffany Kirchner-Dixon from The Fancy Farmgirl! holy cow!! I couldn't believe it!

 

Now I was even MORE excited! MY name was on the cover!!! lol so I had to go back upstairs and show my husband AGAIN.. I know he loved that.. being woken up twice :)

Anyhow.. I just had to share this news with you.. what a dream come true this year has been for me.. TRULY. So many amazing experiences and opportunities.. It's ironic because right before Christmas I went to Barnes and Noble with my hubby.. and we just sat and talked and I told him about all these "leaps" I wanted to take over the next couple of years.  "Wishes"  I would love to happen for me as an artist.. It was a long list.. well not THAT long, but long enough I would forget before I got home.. and so on our way out, Ben bought me a journal and told me to write all of them down.. so I would have them to remind me of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. Remind me to take those "leaps".

 That was my word for this year.. "leap".  Over the next couple of weeks, I looked at that list.. over and over.. and  one of the things on my list was being in the Artful Blogging magazine. I LOVED that magazine and loved all the blogs featured in there.. I had only recently started blogging again, so I didn't think or even expect to EVER be contacted (I am kind shy in that way.. I don't usually "submit" or put myself out there like that)...  so I know it would be a long shot.. as I would never submit it myself.. and really truly.. who was I in the blogging world? But it was still on my list.. a long shot. but a leap.. actually more of a "dream" I wanted...  and so when only 2 short months later, Jennifer contacted me out of the blue.. I was floored! I was ecstatic and in shock and truly felt so blessed. 

 

And I have to say, this year has been that way for me. I don't know why, or how I deserve all the good things that keep happening to me. I know the Lord is blessing me..and my family,  and I am contantly reminded of a blessing once given to me a long time ago.. that said.. I would be blessed with much, but to be weak, and humble and do the will of the Lord throughout it all. That blessing has been a constant reminder to me this year that ALL of this.. Being featured in this magazine, liscneing my artwork, starting online classes, having an article in Somerset Studio's magazine, having my own "tv/web" show, teaching at major events, being featured on Where woman create.... all of it, has only come through being blessed from my Father in Heaven. Truly..  I didn't do it on my own. He has blessed me with drive and hidden talents I never knew I had.. and has given me opportunities that sometimes I don't feel like I deserve.. so it's been really scary to always try and "stay" humble and stay weak.. so that those blessings and opportunities don't go away. Does that make sense?

 

(This is a piece that was featured in the Artful Blogging magazine.. totally how I feel)

 I am so blessed. SO blessed. I know that. I TRULY know that. I am on my knees constantly thanking Him for that. I just want to stay worthy of those blessings as well.

 

You know..  I kept that journal with me everywhere I went. Always writing in it, sketching in it. .. and I couldn't believe that by April of this year, almost all of the things on my list, the "leaps" and wishes, I had in that journal,  had been crossed off. I remember at my girlfriend retreat we did in April, I was sitting talking with my friends Jeanne and Melody and both of them reminding me about that "list" and how all of those things.. that I had wanted and hoped for and set out determined to do over the next couple of years.. had come to be in just 5 short months. They reminded me of how blessed I was and I was thankful for that reminder. Not long after that,  I was off again on another trip.. to a  convention  and during that trip, I lost that journal.  Not sure if it fell out of my bag  in the airport, or I  left it in a hotel room? ( i did call the hotel in hopes that they had it).. but no such luck.  I was REALLy sad at first.. because all of my sketching and my entire  "leap" was in that one journal.. and it meant SO much to me.. but then I realized maybe this meant it was time for me to create a new list.. maybe a list of "giving back".. a list of different sorts.. I still need to get a journal for that and start that list. It's on my "list" of things to do..( now that's funny.. lol )

Anyhow, this post has turned into another long "christy sharing her feelings" post.. sorry about that. I just hope that YOU know.. that good things can happen.. dreams can come true.. LEAPS can be made.. if you have enough faith and put enough trust in the Lord and are willing to also listen closely to what He wants you to do. I have realized it's not always been what I wanted to do, but sometimes you have to just listen and TRUST that is the right thing to do. I have seen it in my own life. It's an amazing thing.

Happy Tuesday :)

 

A matter of a few degrees.. something to think about..

you know I  have decided I am going to stop apologizing for being so absent on my blog this summer.. lol.. I REALLY AM!

 I feel like every-time I post, I am apologizing and going on about how I feel bad and will do better. But then I don't. and honestly..  really truly? It's summer, I forget how busy things are with all 6 kids home, with camping trips and family reunions, and late nights, and early morning on the boat, not to mention things are so crazy busy right now with work..  getting ready for new classes and a new WEB show.. getting new product in the store..  and just everything, so while I had WONDERFUL intentions of posting a lot this summer on my blog, it's just hasn't been happening and instead of apologizing, I am going to be happy with what I can do. I know you guys and gals don't care.. so why do I beat myself up so much over it! ??

Today I wanted to share with you a couple of things.. just a thought I had this past week that has really been on my mind.

This past Sunday, we had a wonderful lesson in Young Womens (I am a young women's leader in my church and part of my time at church on sunday is spent with them). Tami, another leader, gave our lesson and it was just seriously, something I needed to hear so much. There was a story she told that just really hit me.. I want to share it with you.

She referenced a story/talk from an Elder in our Church, Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf, he is the 1st counselor of our Church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints).  It was a talk he gave a few year ago, during a  General Conference meeting that was being held worldwide.  The talk was entitled "A matter of a few degrees". He is a pilot and always has a lot of interest in things that have to do with his passion. Flying.  In this talk he told of a true story.  He talked about a plane with 257 people on board that had just left New Zealand and were on their way to a sight seeing trip to Antarctica.  Unkown to the pilots, someone had accidentally modified the flight coordinates by a mere 2 degrees, which in turn placed the experienced pilots off course a short 28 miles to the east of where they assumed they were.  It was snowing and there were lots of clouds.. and so as they descended on one part of their trip, to where they assumed was "flat Land, they had no idea that they were actually flying straight into Mount Erebus, an active volcano in the Antarctic's that is over 12000 feet high. Because of the snow and clouds they didn't see the snow and ice covered volcano.. and by the time it was too late, and their plane start alerting them they were approaching elevated ground, they couldn't turn back and hit the side of the volcano killing everyone on board. 

As I listened to this story.. it really hit me that sometimes.. choices that we make..no matter how small they may seem, can really get us off course of where we actually want to be.  

It really made me think that small things DO matter.  What I  took from the story and her lesson was that sometimes in life, we decide to make choices, or start habits, or even just "put up" with things in our life.. that we know are not what we should be doing or maybe good but the not the BEST thing for us. And while they are small, and that particular consequence may be small, if we keep off course and keep making those choices or those decisions, we will soon find our self soooo far off course, it may seem almost impossible to come back. 

 I can apply this to SO many things in my life. Take for instance my new "weird" addiction to cherry pepsi..  I do NOT drink pop. I just don't. I have never really ever drank it. If we are at a party or eating out.. I will ALWAYS opt for water over pop. I  just don't like it, never have.. I hate the carbonation.. hate how it makes me feel.. it hurts my stomach, makes me gassy.. makes me gain weight.  So I just always opt for water, or lemonade.. or something else.. something without carbonation in it. Well a couple of weeks ago, we traveled down with our friends to see Kenny Chesney in concert and on the way we stopped at the gas station to get some snack for the 3 hours trip. I decided.. out of sheer.. wanting to be different, I would get a cherry pepsi. Cola for some reason sounded good and I LOVE cherries. So I got one. Another things you should know.. is that I also don't really drink caffeine.. more of a personal choice than anything... but I find it addicting and have seen friends who have really come to depend on it to just get through the day, or to even start their morning?  I have ALSo been around friends who were trying to STOP the caffeine addiction and let me tell you.. it' is NOT a pretty thing! wow.. if you ever want to see a grouchy person.. take away their caffeine for a day! lol. crazy. 

 Well I found that day that I actually LOVED the taste of cherry pepsi.. and even MORE so in  a fountain drink. I found that the carbonation in the fountain pop.. didn't bother me as much as the a pop from the can or the bottle.  It didn't bother my stomach as bad either.  So that night, at the concert, I got another one.. then the next day on the way home.. another.  But it didn't stop there,  the next day at home, I found myself heading to the gas station half way through the day to get myself a cherry pepsi.. and then the next day and the next.. it was becoming a habit.. and not always a BAD habit.. but one that I personally did not want to have. For so many reasons.  Well now it  has now been almost a week and half and EVERYDAY I have found myself going to the gas station (only a block away.. which doesn't help).. and getting myself a fountain "cherry pepsi".  It started out a small 16 ounces cup and yesterday I found myself going for the big 64 ouncer! Holy cow Christy!!  I have almost convinced myself now, that I NEED one.. it's my "treat" and that I can't make it through the rest of the afternoon without it.   I am a dork.. I know. but around 2:30 I find myself thinking.. oh I better go get a cherry pepsi, so I can make it through the rest of the day!  AND not to mention I know it's causing me to have stomach pains.. AND not to sleep very well at night because of the caffiene AND of course I KNOW the sugar is not good for my diabetes.. but now i fear I am hooked. Something I really didn't want and DON"T need in my life right now.. specially with my fibro.

 My point is this.. the first time I got one.. I didn't think ANYTHING of it.. it wasn't something i planned on doing again.. just wanted something different that day.. just one degree of course of where I normally was.  NOW.. a week and half later.. I find myself almost counting down the minutes to when I can go get my dang cherry pepsi.. and really truly why? seriously do i need it? No.. is it healthy for me? no.. and while I realize it won't KILL me.. it's just something I have never wanted to do. Drink pop or caffeine, and now i find myself needing both. Dumb dumb dumb.

So that might be a lame example.. but hopefully you get my drift.

We all have things we want out of life.. what we dream for, what we hope for.. sometimes we don't even know what those things are.. but we have a plan. We surround our self with things that would keep us on the plan and those dreams and hopes. Things that are good and right and true. But sometimes, something might come into our life.. maybe a distraction of some sort..  not always a bad distraction  either.. that seems OH so good and totally fine.. or something we might want to try.. so we do. We get distracted with it.. and before we know it.. we are not only 1 step off course.. we are 28 steps off course from where we wanted to be and we find ourselves unhappy and wondering why we are where we are and how we got there.  AND  how in the HECK  did that one little thing.. end us up RIGHT here?  Oh and let me tell you. it's a LOT harder to go back 28 steps, than it is just ONE.

I know part of this process is learning and growing and we all are here on this earth to do that. To make mistakes or to make choices.. and see which one is good and which one is better. And NOT all distractions are bad either? But sometimes.. just because something is GOOD for us.. doesn't mean it's the BEST thing for us. Sometimes we have to walk away from something good.. for something that is better.

Last summer, I was going through some hard things, decisions and struggles and trials. One of course was my dad's death.. but even before that,  there were other things too. I was really struggling with some choices I had to make.. because from the outside, they seemed so good! They were things that made me happy, stuff I was spending my time doing that seemed good and all-right. But the more I got into them, the more I realized that while they were good and happy things.. they were not the BEST things for me at that time. That they were getting me off course from where I wanted to be... as a mother, a friend, a wife.. a daughter. That even though they were good, I needed to leave them behind and choose the things that were better. WHich isn't always east. And it's not always easy to know which is the BETTER.

Well as I was going through this, I got to spend some time with one of my True's, one of my besties..  Melody Ross.We were at CHA in Chicago.. and sharing a room together and we got to have some really long GOOD talks. After one of our long talks.. the next day.. she wrote me a Brave Girl daily Truth. If you don't know what these are.. they are daily emails she and her sister send out from their Brave Girls Club website. Just daily bits of inspirations and words of wisdom. Truly love them. Well, that day, she  had woke up and written one just for me.. it of course went out to the thousands of people who subscribe to those emails.. but she told me later that morning that it was meant for me. She knew about the decisions i was having to make.. and knew I needed a little tough love.  This is what she wrote..

 

Dear Uncommon Girl,

Sometimes the very bravest thing we can ever do is to walk away from
something that we want very very very much, but that we know deep in
our gut is not meant for us. The other side of this brave decision,
is the holding tight to something else that is scary or humdrum or
not quite what we thought we really wanted...but that we KNOW deep
in our gut is our own divine path...the path to our most incredible,
uncommon life.

The really wonderful consequence of making these kinds of decisions is
that little by little....sometimes really fast and sometimes really
slow.....that scary or humdrum thing somehow transforms into the most
incredible, beautiful, miraculous and PERFECTLY IMPERFECT and joyful
thing that we could EVER imagine....in fact, we usually can not even
BEGIN to imagine how perfect this thing is going to become if we just
step out on that scary and sometimes very painful leap of faith. Life
has a way of making something very tremendous out of something
inconceivably boring or scary.

That's what bravery is, lovely friend.....it is deciding what to let go
of and what to hold on to......no matter how it feels in this moment...
knowing that you are giving up something very very good for something
OH SO MUCH BETTER.....the BEST in fact.......having faith that when you
listen to your heart, no matter how scary or disappointing the news it
has to give you....that EVERYTHING will ALWAYS work out beautifully in
the end when you make brave choices that are YOUR RIGHT CHOICES.

You know what it is....and you can do it.

Love you forever.xoxo 

After I read that message.. I seriously cried.. because I know what she was saying was true. I KNEW that I had to get back on path.. that while sometimes that path may seem "humdrum" or boring.. and the little step I take off to  the left or the right.. seems SO much more exciting.. that the PATH that is true..  and what is best.  AND that actually  it IS  the thing that can bring us the most happiness. the most joy, the most comfort. And that it's not always easy to take steps back... after you have gone 17 steps off the the left.. and need to come back 16 of them to get back on track. But the crazy and beautiful things is we can. 

I'm not really sure the point of this whole post, it probably doesn't make much sense either, but I guess lately I have just been trying to really put into perspective which things are GOOD for me and which things are BEST.  Because  sometimes  those good things.. can start to to take me off course and I don't even know it.. until I am so far off course, I sometimes get scared I don't know how to get back. Does that make sense?

I sometimes wish I always made perfect decisions.. or that I didn't have to suffer the consequences of not soo good ones.. but I have realized that that is what makes life wonderful. The ups and the downs.. the mistakes and the comebacks.. it's what MAKE US as a beautiful person.. it allows us to be sympathetic and empathetic and caring and loving and kind.. because we have been there and can relate and can console and can help others find their way back on course too.

So that's it.. just a wonderful lesson from Tami...  that turned into a moment I really needed. Maybe sometimes I think too much. But I hope that I don't. 

Well.. tomorrow we are leaving out of town for the weekend on a family campout. Im not even going to SAY that I hope to get something creatively done for this blog before I leave, because if I am at all honest... i just wont. Sorry.. just wont. This week I was supposed to be at CHA.. in Chicago. I always.. go.. infact I haven't NOT gone in 8 years. I go to see the new products coming out for our kit club and now our store. I also go to catch up with all my wonderful artsy friends in the industry, to connect, to enjoy them. It's always a good thing for me. Ben goes with me most of the time. But this time, I just felt like I should stay home, WE BOTH felt like we should stay home  and spend that time with our family instead. It was a tough decision. Our plane tickets were already bought.. our hotel already reserved. But it felt right. That was part of staying on the path. I Gave up ONE good choice.. for something better.. you know? So we are leaving tomorrow..  and I can't wait to just be with my kids and hubby. Spend time on the boat, playing games, sitting around the campfire eating smores and tin foil dinners, reading books, maybe even some fishing?  We need it. Our family is so busy, we need to reconnect.  So i am excited. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend too.. YOU Deserve it!

 oh and

Happy Wednesday!

 

Authenticity.. giving the real you.

 
the  past couple of weeks I have had a few moments where I have thought about this word.. authenticity... and giving the real you.

the first moments was when I read this book a friend of mine suggested.. called the Go Giver. My friend who suggested this book, is one of the smartest and kindest people I know.. so even though the little book cost me $18.00 bucks (cricky!)..  at Barnes& Noble,, I knew it would be worth the money. And it was.

 

The book is really geared towards giving in business and the idea of how the more you give.. the more you will receive and the more successful you will be in the process.  However I think it can be applied to just about ANY part of our lives. There was one chapter in this book that REALLY stuck out to me. It was the chapter on being authentic.  I won't go into a lot of detail about it.. because HONESTLY you should go get the book and read it yourself.. but part of what I got out of that chapter was this.. that if you want to be successful at something.. you need to be authentic. Whatever it is.. whether it's being an artist, a mother, a friend, a business woman, a wife..  if you GIVE your authentic self.. you will be more successful in those relationships.. those endeavors.

That REALLY struck a cord with me because one of the things I have always tried to be is authentic. MAINLY to myself.  Meaning, I am who I am.. and when I try to be something I am not.. it usually doesn't work out. That can be a good thing or bad thing depending on what end you get from me! ;) Which only means.. you get what you get from me. You get my best, my mediocre and sometimes my worst. But isn't that what being authentic is all about?  I would never want to be in a relationship where I couldn't be myself and I would never want to have someone feel like they couldn't be themselves to me. 100% of the time.

But the other thing I took away from that book is that the MORE we give of our authentic Self.. the more we get back. One of the quotes in the book is this. "the most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself". And it's true. We have all been given different traits, personalities, talents, outlooks.. We all come from different places and backgrounds and beliefs. So because of all these wonderful differences.. the one unique thing we have to give is ourselves. And the crazy thing about that.. is when we put ourselves out there and are real and true.. we start to connect with others in a way that can change our life. It's happened to me. Time and time again.

 

I know sometimes for me, I question whether being authentic is a blessing or a curse. Sometimes that spirited, feisty girl.. comes out and I let my opinions and emtions fly.. and that doesn't always end in good results. But at the same time, it's those same strong opinions and beliefs that make me who I am. I think it's all in the way you share them. 

 

Speaking of sharing your authenticity.. I have thought about that a lot lately. Sharing.  Probably more so, since I have really been more public with my blog, my art and my life over the last 8 months. I have also opened up more to my children and my husband and even friends. Letting them see all sides of me. Sides that previously I may have only shared with myself, or say with friends, but not my family.. and visa versa.  I was scared at first.. not sure why, but maybe fear of being rejected? that doesn't seem like the right word, but maybe just fear of not being accepted?  who knows why we hold back.. probably for lots of reasons.. But the one thing I have learned over the past 8 months is that when ARE authentic... it allows other people to feel comfortable and loved and connected... and authentic themselves.

 

Yesterday I watched THIS video at church... it's about a wonderful girl, a mom..  most of you probably know her..Stephanie Nielson (affectionaly known as NieNie)... I don't know her personally, we are not "good" friends,  but I have met her and talked with her a bit about life and such at a convention earlier this year.  What really struck me when I met her is how TRUE she is. How Authentic she is and how she has every reason to hide and not give to others.. mainly for fear of being rejected or not accepted (and let me tell you, there are some people who have been that way to her and those people are not worth a second thought.). But she still continues to give. She gives us herself and her life stories and the good moments and the bad moments. And she remembers that she is daughter of God and a wife, and a mom, and a friend and a public figure. And through all of that.. she is TRUE to who she really is. Always. AND I LOVE THAT about her. What I love most about her is that she shares that with all of US too. She doesn't just keep it in. She gives her authentic self to all of us.

 

I guess the reason for this post is that I hope all of you know how truly unique you are. That you have SO much to give and so much to offer the world, your family and yourself. To remind you that it's OKAY to be authentic.  To stretch your wings.. to take that leap and share yourself with us. Your TRUE self. And remember that being authentic means NOT having to be perfect and not having to live up to others expectations.. but just BEING WHO YOU ARE and being okay with that. YOU are enough. Sometimes we try so hard to be someone we aren't. We want to be the perfect mom, or the perfect friend, or the perfect wife. Guess what? NO one is perfect and guess what else?  Your family only WANTS you.. they don't want the mom down the street..  your husband wants YOU.. not the model in the sports illustrated magazine (and if he does.. well he's just an idiot and missing out on something REALLY good!)  . But it's the same with your friends, your work, your community. They want what YOU have to offer them. THEY NEED what you have to offer them. We all do. We all need each others true selves.  You know the other cool thing about being authentic and sharing yourself.. is that when you do.. you will get that back in return.. again and again and again.   What a beautiful concept.. a beautiful relationship to have with others.. INCLUDING yourself.

Give.. and you will receive... and the more you give... the more you will receive. LOVE it. It's simply brilliant. Anyhow.. just something I have been thinking about lately. Questing if what I am and who I am is enough to those I care about.  I have learned that  to the people that LOVE you and that you care about. It will be enough. It won't be for everyone. Believe me.. there are people in this world who want more than that. But you don't need them in your life. You will be JUST fine without them.  

Get the book. LOVED that book. Love the friend who suggested I read it. They must have known I needed it too.  Needed it to remind myself that the most important thing I have to give is myself, my authentic self.

....  and on that note.. I hope you all have a WONDERFUL week.  I am headed out of town to volunteer at our church's girls camp. I am a leader over the 12 and 13 girls in my church and each year all of us (the girls ages 12-18 and leaders over them) go camping. We camp to teach them life skills like building fires, first aid, swimming, art, hiking, etc.. but also to bond with them and teach them more important things like that they are wonderful, beautiful girls, daughters of God, who have SO much to offer the world. We have about  14 or so girls going and 9 of us leaders. It will be a blast. CAN NOT WAIT. honestly.  I sat there on sunday looking around the room at those girls and thought to myself.. I am so blessed and so lucky to have THESE women.. these girls in my life right now. To be able to spend the week with them. Getting to know them more.. having FUN.. (cause you KNOW... besides all that other fun stuff.. we also have to have make a little trouble too.. with pranks and practical jokes on each other.. can't wait! LOL)..

so I am off.. won't be back until this weekend.. and then will be spending a quite weekend at home for the fourth with my family. So I will see you back HERE next week.. and have so much to share with you! A new Creatively Inspired project.. my last post about Texas and the Canton trip.. and some other fun news (INCLUDING THE 2 new summer workshops! (don't be mad!!!)).. yes I know I said today.. but you know what.. I woke up today NOT feeling so hot and have a million things to get done before tomorrow.. so guess what.. this post is what you get.

hope that is enough. :)

happy monday!  

 

Behind the Art.... this was her house

I have been thinking a lot latley about life and the beauty of what that means. I have been thinking of how differnt I am as a person, that I was even just a year ago.. and a year ago, how different I was from the year before.

I love that through all of lifes little moments, we change and grown and evolve into the people we are NOW.. and NOW.. and now.. because every moment changes us even more. I have thought about this past year and the blessings.. HUGE blessing that my family and I have had. The growth of our bussiness, the start of my blog, sharing my art, my on-online classes, the opportunties that have come my way with magazines, liscening agents, events. My family all being healthy, my oldest son getting his drivers liscence, my only daughter starting to really enjoy spending time with me,  having a warm house to live in, having my brothers and sisters and I become closer together. Strenghthening true friendships that I know will last a lifetime. I have also thought about the trials I have had. MY dad's death, having to "re-invent" myself, dealing with fibromyalgia.. loosing friendships that once meant a lot to me, dealing with self worth and a some other trials that are just too close to the heart to talk about. But through it all i love that it has brought me to THIS moment. This point.

So what's is so different about this point? I guess at this point in my life I am okay with a lot of things.. that  I haven't been okay with in the past. I am okay that I am not a size 6 or a size 8 or even a size 10! I am okay that my house is not "clean" most of the time, I am okay that live in an old neighborhood.. in a small simple house, I am okay that my trues, my closest friends, live hours and hours away and I only get to see them once or twice a  year. I have decided that life is what I make it. I can choose to be grateful for all of the things I DO have.. instead of complaining and be depreseed for the things I  don't. This is my life. MY house and I get to decide what I make out of it. No matter what the circumstances are.. no matter what the trials or the blessing are.. I GET TO CHOOSE! This is my life!

So I was sitting down thinking about this the other day and when I get in this kind of thought.. it makes me want to document those feelings. To journal it.. or create art.. or something, so I decided to head into my garage and create a piece for my art journal. It wasn't anything fancy.. but i wanted to remember how I was feeling. I wanted to choose to be grateful. To choose to make the most of out the life I have been given. . I know this doesn't mean that all life's problem or ups and downs will go away.. heavens no.. but I know that I get to decide what those ups and downs to for me. They can either break me... or they can make me. .. and I choose to let them make me. Because this is MY House. This was her house.

thanks for letting me share..

 

 

Happy Friday!