the past couple of weeks I have had a few moments where I have thought about this word.. authenticity... and giving the real you.
the first moments was when I read this book a friend of mine suggested.. called the Go Giver. My friend who suggested this book, is one of the smartest and kindest people I know.. so even though the little book cost me $18.00 bucks (cricky!).. at Barnes& Noble,, I knew it would be worth the money. And it was.
The book is really geared towards giving in business and the idea of how the more you give.. the more you will receive and the more successful you will be in the process. However I think it can be applied to just about ANY part of our lives. There was one chapter in this book that REALLY stuck out to me. It was the chapter on being authentic. I won't go into a lot of detail about it.. because HONESTLY you should go get the book and read it yourself.. but part of what I got out of that chapter was this.. that if you want to be successful at something.. you need to be authentic. Whatever it is.. whether it's being an artist, a mother, a friend, a business woman, a wife.. if you GIVE your authentic self.. you will be more successful in those relationships.. those endeavors.
That REALLY struck a cord with me because one of the things I have always tried to be is authentic. MAINLY to myself. Meaning, I am who I am.. and when I try to be something I am not.. it usually doesn't work out. That can be a good thing or bad thing depending on what end you get from me! ;) Which only means.. you get what you get from me. You get my best, my mediocre and sometimes my worst. But isn't that what being authentic is all about? I would never want to be in a relationship where I couldn't be myself and I would never want to have someone feel like they couldn't be themselves to me. 100% of the time.
But the other thing I took away from that book is that the MORE we give of our authentic Self.. the more we get back. One of the quotes in the book is this. "the most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself". And it's true. We have all been given different traits, personalities, talents, outlooks.. We all come from different places and backgrounds and beliefs. So because of all these wonderful differences.. the one unique thing we have to give is ourselves. And the crazy thing about that.. is when we put ourselves out there and are real and true.. we start to connect with others in a way that can change our life. It's happened to me. Time and time again.
I know sometimes for me, I question whether being authentic is a blessing or a curse. Sometimes that spirited, feisty girl.. comes out and I let my opinions and emtions fly.. and that doesn't always end in good results. But at the same time, it's those same strong opinions and beliefs that make me who I am. I think it's all in the way you share them.
Speaking of sharing your authenticity.. I have thought about that a lot lately. Sharing. Probably more so, since I have really been more public with my blog, my art and my life over the last 8 months. I have also opened up more to my children and my husband and even friends. Letting them see all sides of me. Sides that previously I may have only shared with myself, or say with friends, but not my family.. and visa versa. I was scared at first.. not sure why, but maybe fear of being rejected? that doesn't seem like the right word, but maybe just fear of not being accepted? who knows why we hold back.. probably for lots of reasons.. But the one thing I have learned over the past 8 months is that when ARE authentic... it allows other people to feel comfortable and loved and connected... and authentic themselves.
Yesterday I watched THIS video at church... it's about a wonderful girl, a mom.. most of you probably know her..Stephanie Nielson (affectionaly known as NieNie)... I don't know her personally, we are not "good" friends, but I have met her and talked with her a bit about life and such at a convention earlier this year. What really struck me when I met her is how TRUE she is. How Authentic she is and how she has every reason to hide and not give to others.. mainly for fear of being rejected or not accepted (and let me tell you, there are some people who have been that way to her and those people are not worth a second thought.). But she still continues to give. She gives us herself and her life stories and the good moments and the bad moments. And she remembers that she is daughter of God and a wife, and a mom, and a friend and a public figure. And through all of that.. she is TRUE to who she really is. Always. AND I LOVE THAT about her. What I love most about her is that she shares that with all of US too. She doesn't just keep it in. She gives her authentic self to all of us.
I guess the reason for this post is that I hope all of you know how truly unique you are. That you have SO much to give and so much to offer the world, your family and yourself. To remind you that it's OKAY to be authentic. To stretch your wings.. to take that leap and share yourself with us. Your TRUE self. And remember that being authentic means NOT having to be perfect and not having to live up to others expectations.. but just BEING WHO YOU ARE and being okay with that. YOU are enough. Sometimes we try so hard to be someone we aren't. We want to be the perfect mom, or the perfect friend, or the perfect wife. Guess what? NO one is perfect and guess what else? Your family only WANTS you.. they don't want the mom down the street.. your husband wants YOU.. not the model in the sports illustrated magazine (and if he does.. well he's just an idiot and missing out on something REALLY good!) . But it's the same with your friends, your work, your community. They want what YOU have to offer them. THEY NEED what you have to offer them. We all do. We all need each others true selves. You know the other cool thing about being authentic and sharing yourself.. is that when you do.. you will get that back in return.. again and again and again. What a beautiful concept.. a beautiful relationship to have with others.. INCLUDING yourself.
Give.. and you will receive... and the more you give... the more you will receive. LOVE it. It's simply brilliant. Anyhow.. just something I have been thinking about lately. Questing if what I am and who I am is enough to those I care about. I have learned that to the people that LOVE you and that you care about. It will be enough. It won't be for everyone. Believe me.. there are people in this world who want more than that. But you don't need them in your life. You will be JUST fine without them.
Get the book. LOVED that book. Love the friend who suggested I read it. They must have known I needed it too. Needed it to remind myself that the most important thing I have to give is myself, my authentic self.
.... and on that note.. I hope you all have a WONDERFUL week. I am headed out of town to volunteer at our church's girls camp. I am a leader over the 12 and 13 girls in my church and each year all of us (the girls ages 12-18 and leaders over them) go camping. We camp to teach them life skills like building fires, first aid, swimming, art, hiking, etc.. but also to bond with them and teach them more important things like that they are wonderful, beautiful girls, daughters of God, who have SO much to offer the world. We have about 14 or so girls going and 9 of us leaders. It will be a blast. CAN NOT WAIT. honestly. I sat there on sunday looking around the room at those girls and thought to myself.. I am so blessed and so lucky to have THESE women.. these girls in my life right now. To be able to spend the week with them. Getting to know them more.. having FUN.. (cause you KNOW... besides all that other fun stuff.. we also have to have make a little trouble too.. with pranks and practical jokes on each other.. can't wait! LOL)..
so I am off.. won't be back until this weekend.. and then will be spending a quite weekend at home for the fourth with my family. So I will see you back HERE next week.. and have so much to share with you! A new Creatively Inspired project.. my last post about Texas and the Canton trip.. and some other fun news (INCLUDING THE 2 new summer workshops! (don't be mad!!!)).. yes I know I said today.. but you know what.. I woke up today NOT feeling so hot and have a million things to get done before tomorrow.. so guess what.. this post is what you get.
hope that is enough. :)
happy monday!
Christy, I am so glad I discovered your blog in December last year! I'm not sure I'll be able to read all your posts but I'm thankful that God directed me to this one.
Finding you and all your creative friends, and links to even more amazingly creative people, is like stumbling upon an oasis after being dragged across a desert for years.... behind a camel that I had completely embellished and had run out of space. Seriously.
I love being creative and I know that God made me creative for his purposes and delight. But it's still hard when others don't "get me." You wrote "To stretch your wings.. to take that leap and share yourself with us. Your TRUE self. And remember that being authentic means NOT having to be perfect and not having to live up to others expectations.. but just BEING WHO YOU ARE and being okay with that. YOU are enough."
I really needed to hear that. Thank you for being yourself. Your honesty and optimism are a blessing to me. Thank you!
Posted by: Julia | January 21, 2012 at 10:25 PM
Wow, Christy! I'm just reading this post, not sure how I missed it, but I'm pretty sure it's because God wanted me to read it now and not a moment sooner. Thank you for writing this, I really needed it at this moment in my life. I won't go in to details in this comment, but I just had to say thank you. :) I don't know you personally (hopefully someday I will), but just following your blog, facebook and taking your classes, I know you are truly authentic in every way. Keep up all of your amazingness! :)
Posted by: Lannette Ring | September 28, 2011 at 11:09 PM
Christy, I cannot even put into words how much I wish I knew you in real life. Because you are amazing. You have such a beautiful heart and soul. I know that sometimes it's easy to read someone's blog and get a glamourized view of their life. But between your blog and your you-tube videos and your workshop...it is just SO easy to see into your heart. You ARE being authentic - don't ever be afraid to be exactly who you are - because who you are is absolutely wonderful...flaws and all. Thank you for sharing your whole, authentic self with us!! xo
Posted by: Jen Clark | July 06, 2011 at 05:01 PM
you have the most amazing posts!!
Posted by: diana | July 06, 2011 at 02:37 PM
I love what I "get" with you Christy. I ususally skim-read your posts but today, during school hols, I decided to put the boys in their rooms and READ...actually "read"...of it, between the lines, around it, behind it and all that is in front of you.
I feel blessed to have done both your workshops now and although I haven't had a mind-blowing change LOL, I think I have grown a little. People want what I do and that's thanks to YOU!
Looking forward to your new workshops. xx
Posted by: Giovanna | July 03, 2011 at 09:20 PM
Just one thing to say Christy..Awesome post.
Thanks for being you. I have found it is much easier being me...those who love me get it..and those who don't..oh well we weren't kindred spirts.
Posted by: Carol Miller | June 29, 2011 at 07:15 AM
You are off camping right now probably having a blast. I just have to say you are a pretty darn awesome lady. Thank you for putting yourself out there for us to see that we are not alone.
Be safe and happy summer fun!
Posted by: Kim | June 28, 2011 at 10:29 PM
Here's a question....Do you type as fast as you think? LOL...Honestly, I LOVE reading your posts because it's like being right there in the room with you having a heart-to-heart conversation!
I'm gonna read the book because I get too worried about what people will think of me if I open up and be my authentic self. I have a lot of challenges in my life and I'd rather hide than open up and share my burdens. Instead, I just let people see the happier, funnier, and creative side of my persona.
Thanks for the boost!
Posted by: Dottee O. | June 28, 2011 at 09:36 PM
you are so inspiring, i love visiting your spot!
Posted by: deb christensen | June 28, 2011 at 08:08 PM
Christy, you always give so much of yourself, it is more than enough.
Posted by: Barb R. | June 28, 2011 at 06:46 PM
it is what it is. give what you can and be happy with that. enjoy your trip. thanks for being who you are. it is so much more than enough.
Posted by: laura huffman | June 28, 2011 at 02:11 PM
Christy, I LOVE this post! I usually go to the Gilded Life Events but, couldn't go to the last one but, met you there through the other girls! My friend Jackie did a post about the journal class she had been doing with you. I have NEVER done a journal but, have been thinking about it. After seeing Jackie's & Alisa's... I'm ready to take the leap & will be signing up for your class (as soon as I get my computer fixed tomorrow... the speakers went out & I can't take a class without hearing you!!!!).
In this post I loved the part where you said that if people judge you or critize you move on... I have a sweet friend that get's taken advantage of sooooooooo often & she & I have been talking about moving away from people who you don't relate/feel appreciated to. WHY are we sooooooooo hard on ourselves? I'm gonna check out the book. And thanks for the post, the classes & I hope a new friendship.
Charlene
Posted by: Charlene | June 28, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Thanks for the encouragement, I am just discovering the same thing - that it's ok to be just me. And even though I'm anxious to see what classes you will have this summer I'm ok that it's next week, the timing will be perfect no matter what.
Enjoy your week with the girls!
Posted by: Donna Lange | June 28, 2011 at 06:37 AM
Thanks for the reminder. I have had a crap several weeks with F.M. my mother in law passing and having to put down my beloved dog. You are an inspiration, there is a saying I often use (forgotten the author), You are loved beyound measure and a cherished blessing to me.
Have a great week.
ps Things are not all doom and gloom as I am getting married on Sunday.
Posted by: Dianne | June 28, 2011 at 03:18 AM
Christy ---- you're awesome!
Posted by: lori jolley | June 27, 2011 at 09:57 PM
Getting the book. Love your words of wisdom! Happy summer to you!!!
Posted by: misty thurman | June 27, 2011 at 09:26 PM
Thanks Christy- Wonderful Words to hold onto...
Have a great week.
Annette T.
Posted by: Annette Tyrrell | June 27, 2011 at 07:54 PM
Thank you for sharing Christy... One of my favourite sayings is: BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER, AND THOSE THAT MATTER, DON'T MIND.... indeed sometimes it's hard to be 'open'... the fear of being ridiculed, or hurt, or rejected etc....
Have the BEST TIME girls... jealous much!!!
Love you
Bronnyk
Posted by: Hondariders | June 27, 2011 at 07:52 PM
I went thru a life changing experience at a retreat last week with Liz Lamorauex and the one thing I came away with is exactly what you wrote in this post...I needed to be my authentic self ALL THE TIME with everyone...not pick and choose who I shine my light on because they make me feel safe being me. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.
Posted by: grace | June 27, 2011 at 07:49 PM
You need a big sign like the one I hung in Kayleigh's room that said NURTURE YOUR AUTHENTIC FLAIR! She was about 15 at the time and she said, "Mom, I don't even know what that means!" I explained that she was unique and that she needed to accept and celebrate and nurture her uniqueness. Now she knows and now she does!! (((HUGS)))
Posted by: Stephanie Huntsman | June 27, 2011 at 07:49 PM